Michele Humes (I live in New York and I write about food.)

Actual Conversation That Took Place

(Scene: A Chinese take-out counter in Brooklyn.)

Cashier: One chicken chow mein coming up.

Me: (in Mandarin) Hey, where are you from in China?

Cashier: Fujian.

Me: Nice, my grandfather is from Fujian–Gulangyu, actually. I’m from Hong Kong.

Two cooks in the background: Your Mandarin is really good!

Me: Hey, thanks. My Fujianese is awful. [Unintelligible Fujianese.] See?

Cashier: Are you here as a student?

Me: No, I live and work here. My father’s American.

Owner: (pointing to my companion) Is this your friend?

Me: He’s my boyfriend.

Owner: Wow! This is great! A white guy! Here, let me give you a free soda. What kind would you like?

Me: I’ll take a Diet Coke.